Tuesday, August 23, 2005

You Know You're From Louisiana When...

(Or you've lived there)

The crawdad mounds in your front yard have over taken the grass. (This has happened in our old front yard!)

You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"

Every so often, you have waterfront property. (Get 6 inches of rain is all it takes.)

When giving directions you use words like "uptown," "downtown," "backatown," "riverside," "lakeside," "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee." (aww...the levee!)

When you refer to a geographical location "way up North," you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold."

You've ever had Community Coffee. (The best coffee ever!)

You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.

You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Hell yeah!)

The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.

You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop. (All my favs!!)

The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, crab, and King Cake.

You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday. (Wait, it's not??)

You believe that purple, green and gold look good together. (I believe!)

Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled. (Mine is, but my momma's ain't)

You know what a nutria rat is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs. (Good ole Lake Pontchartrain!)

You describe a color as "K & B Purple." (K&B Purple is the same purple that goes with green & gold!)

You like your rice and politics dirty.

You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway. (Sleep with cotton in your ears!!)

You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.

You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...

You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...

When out of town, you stop and ask someone where there is a drive-through Daiquiri place, and they look at you like you have three heads. (Daiquiri drive-thru...I miss those!)

You have flood insurance. (Who wouldn't? We're below sea-level!)

Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.

You consider a Bloody Mary a light breakfast.

You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras throws. (If you don't push them, they'll push you! My Maw Maw is one of 'em!)

You leave a parade with footprints on the top of your hands.

You have a parade ladder in your shed.

Your first sentence was "Throw me something mistah" and your first drink was from a go-cup.

You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.

You have a monogrammed go-cup.

You get on a bus marked "Cemeteries" and don?t think twice.

You shake out your shoes before putting them on.

Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside.

No matter where else you go in the world, you are always disappointed in the food. (That's so true!)

You get up in the morning and start cooking a pot of rice before you give any thought to what you'll fix for dinner. (Maw Maw's always got rice cooked if nothin else!)

You ask, "How dey running?" and "Are dey fat?" when you're inquiring about seafood quality. When a hurricane is imminent

When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.

You call tomato sauce "red gravy."

You eat sno-balls instead of throwing them. (I'll have a grashopper with condensed milk or an almaretto alex, please!)

Your house payment is less than your air conditioning bill.

Your grandparents are called "Maw Maw" and "Paw Paw." (And we love 'em tons!)

You fall asleep to the soothing sounds of four box fans. (That was before we got window units!)

No one eats healthy. Fried Batter is actually a menu item in some restaurants.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisiana.

1 comment: